


I Love You, Goodbye

by thekatherinewinchester



Series: SPNKINKBINGO 2018 [1]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Threesome - F/F/M, Tumblr: spnkinkbingo, Unrequited Love, cream pie eating, free space, spnkinkbingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:01:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatherinewinchester/pseuds/thekatherinewinchester
Summary: There are rules to being Jensen Ackles' mistress. I broke the main one.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles/Original Female Character(s), Jensen Ackles/Original Female Character(s)/Danneel Harris
Series: SPNKINKBINGO 2018 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638949
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	I Love You, Goodbye

Walking in the front door I was a little dazed from my after-shooting meeting with Robert Singer. My character on Supernatural may or may not continue to be around. For the past six years Supernatural has been my home. It’s been a dream to work on my favorite tv show with my favorite cast of people. I don’t want it all to come to an end. My character, Bobby Singer’s niece, was only supposed to last a few episodes, but the response to her was overwhelming. So, here I am, six years later. Honestly, even after all these years I’m still in shock. Most female characters don’t last on this show, especially ones intended to be a love interest for one of the boys. Reid Singer was only supposed to stay long enough to help end the apocalypse but ended up in love with the elder Winchester brother. A job which most can attest to not being an easy task. There is a lot to be said about being a plus sized woman of color in the acting industry -representation matters. 

The sound of my boyfriend’s happy noises brought me out of my thoughts. At first, I was confused as to why he would be making those noises. Maybe he couldn’t wait for me to get home, seeing as I had scenes to shoot and he had the day off. 

I began making my way up the stairs to our bedroom when I stopped short. There was a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom. It was then I realized that his wife was in town, she must have surprised him. I deflated at the thought of his wife being in town. Moments like this I was reminded that I was technically a mistress; a wife-approved mistress, but a mistress, nonetheless. If you would have told me three years ago that I would be Jensen Ackles’ mistress, I would have laughed and told you I was no home-wrecker. Yet, here I am; his mistress for the past two years because I am a fucking masochist. 

Naturally, being his mistress comes with rules. 1) We can never be public with our relationship arrangement 2) I can never have his children. Since I’m uncomfortable with birth control, Jensen has to use a condom at all times. 3) I am only around for as long as both Ackles’s wish me to be. 4) Don’t fall in love. Seems simple, right? Yeah, not really, but like I said, I’m a fucking masochist. I mean really, how does one not fall in love with Jensen Ackles once they have gotten to know the man behind Dean Winchester. Guess this means I will be taking the guest room while the Missus is here. 

I back tracked into the kitchen and heated up myself some leftover spaghetti that Jensen and I had made the night before. I loved nights we could cook together rather than order takeout. It feels like we are a real couple, even if only for a little while. I placed my heated food on the island bar and went to grab myself some eating utensils and an Angry Orchard. Jensen loves to tell me that I don’t really drink beer when I drink Angry Orchard. Whatever. We can’t all be beer connoisseurs, now can we? 

Two weeks into the new year and it was already going to shit. As long as the wife is in town, I will be invisible, and he will forget I exist. To top it off, I might be losing my job and thus, leaving the only family I have ever had. Fucking awesome. 

I was taking a long drink of my beer when I heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs. I was surprised Jensen was letting his wife leave our his bed. I saw her before she saw me. She was donned in my favorite flannel of his. I took another sip of beer to drown my jealousy. When she saw me she blushed. 

“You’re home early,” came her sweet voice.

I forced a laugh and smile. “I’m home late actually. Bob needed to see me after today’s scenes.” 

It was then Danneel must have realized the time. “Wow, it’s that late already? I guess I sometimes forget the stamina my husband has.” She let out a gentle laugh. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed the whip cream and chocolate sauce. “We’ll try to be less noisy, sorry” She blushed once more and headed back upstairs. 

I wanted to believe her but I knew how Jensen could be and what he liked; he liked to make his partner scream for all the world to hear. Therefore, I would be taking the first-floor guest room in hopes of helping drown out the sounds of marital bliss. 

*~*~*~*

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep at all last night; I don’t think the Ackles’ did either. Waking up alone was something I’d become unaccustomed to. This must be how Danneel feels 9 months out of the year. It was honestly getting harder and harder to not feel the way that I do. I don’t know how much longer I can stay in this relationship arrangement. Jensen is now a father to a beautiful baby girl and it just doesn’t feel right anymore. Seeing him with JJ makes me long for a child -his child- but I know that will never happen in a million years. In a few weeks, conventions start, and I will be able to really think about things and where I should take my life then. 

I sighed. I didn’t want to say goodbye to Jensen but that might be what’s best. It’s not like we could ever really be anything more than me being his live-in booty call. I turned to my left side and felt where Jensen should have been. I know it was selfish of me, but I hoped Danneel wasn’t staying long. With Danneel in town, Jensen will probably have the next couple of days off to spend with her. My heart broke at the thought of not being able to spend any time with him. 

I forced myself out of bed so that I could shower and be on my way to work. It was a good thing that at times like this I kept a few clothes in the guest room. There was no way I was going to sneak into my normal room for clothes. I was beginning to wonder if I should just go ahead and move my things into this room anyway. I had no claim to Jensen -or the bedroom- while Danneel was around and as far as anyone knew I didn’t share a bedroom with a married man. Sure, Jared, Misha, and some of the other cast and crew knew but only because we knew that they were trustworthy. It might be best to start distancing myself from Jensen, with JJ’s arrival, and Danneel’s presence he won’t really need me anymore; not when his wife starts to come around more and he can see his baby girl. 

Getting into the shower I tried not to let my thoughts and feelings run too wild. Apparently, my mind didn’t get the memo, and I let out quiet sobs. Maybe it was best if Reid left the Winchesters, maybe then it would be easier to say goodbye to Jensen and those I call my family. Who was I kidding, it would never be easy to leave people I’ve come to call my family; my home. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed to leave. The longer I stayed, the more I would be hurt and ruined. Not that Jensen hadn’t already ruined other men for me, but that was neither here nor there. I would talk to Bob later about leaving the show. It would be the best choice for everyone.

Once I was out of the shower and all cried out, I felt a little better about having made a decision. Granted it still hurt like hell knowing I will be saying goodbye to Jensen and my family, but I know it is the right path for me. Who knows, maybe I will get to act alongside one of them again some day in the future. All I know in this moment, is that I needed to start moving on with my life and starting anew before it was too late for me. It’s like a bandaid. I need to rip it off before I get irreparably heartbroken.

Heading to my room to get ready for a day of shooting I was welcomed to the silence of the house. Guess the married couple finally wore themselves out. Thankfully it meant that I wouldn’t have to face either of them before I had to leave for work. Upon entering my room, I had noticed my phone screen lit up. I had a message from Cliff saying that he would be here to pick me up in about 20 minutes. That was plenty enough time for me to get ready.

*~*~*~*

I was exhausted. We had finished our scenes right on schedule. Surprisingly, considering I had scenes with my favorite Moose today and everyone could I was a little out of it. I knew now was the time to go in search of Bob so that I could get this conversation done and over with. After searching for him for a few moments I found him.

“Hey Bob, can we talk?” I asked him once I had his attention. I think he knew what this conversation is going to be about if the sadness in his eyes is anything to go by.

Bob smiled softly at me. “Yeah, sure, Katherine. Let’s go into my office so we can have some privacy.” I followed Bob so that we could have our needed talk. Little did I know that we were being tailed by a very concerned Moose. 

*~*~*~*

Upon opening the front door, I was shocked to see both Danneel and Jensen were sitting in the living room. More shockingly was the fact that they both looked serious and in deep conversation. Even from where I am standing, I can see worry and concern written across Jensen’s handsome face. I can’t help but wonder what they are conversing about, but it’s none of my business. I was feeling hungry, so I decided I would make my way to the kitchen. I stopped when I heard Jensen calling my name. At least, I think he did; he doesn’t usually interact with me when Danneel is close by. 

I continued on my way to the kitchen to first grab myself an Angry Orchard. As soon as I popped the top off, I unmistakably heard Jensen calling me to the living room. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. This is it, the moment he says that he is done with me. I know that I was planning on leaving anyway but I wanted to be the one to end things; not Jensen to be the one to end things because that would only break me worse. I took a deep breath and headed to the living room to face my fate.

Walking into the living I was startled by the tense air. Danneel and Jensen were sitting next to each other on the love seat holding hands. Looking closer, you could see that Danneel’s trying to be supportive of her husband. Jensen had a stern look on his face and that confused me. I wasn’t sure what going on but I was beginning to not want to know. Sometimes a serious Jensen meant bad news…

“Jared texted me not too long ago. He has some concerns about seeing you talking with Bob. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t be worrisome, but he had also mentioned that you had been off all day; that you weren’t acting like yourself. You were getting your lines right and whatnot, but you just seemed closed off and distant for whatever reason.” Jensen’s true emotions betrayed him when he spoke. While his face was tense and passive -practically blank- his voice was full of fear. I wasn’t sure why he would be feeling scared. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or will I have to pull it out of you. You know I will, Katherine.” By the end he made sure to keep his voice level.

I sighed and sat down on the recliner that was adjacent to the love seat. “Bob informed me last night that the writers may or may not be getting rid of Reid. I don’t know if they plan on killing her, making her leave permanently, or what the plan may be. Bob just thought he would give me a heads up just in case it did happen so I wouldn’t be so heartbroken.” I let out a humorless laugh. I felt my eyes beginning to water and my bottom lip tremble. “I don’t want to say goodbye, Jensen,” I whipped a rebellious tear that was falling. 

I held up my hand to stop Jensen before he could say anything. I knew he was going to tell me that I didn’t need to; he was sure that the writers wouldn’t write me out, the fans would be pissed. “I know what you’re gonna say Jensen. I’ve thought a lot about this since Bob told me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized as much as I don’t want to say goodbye to the only family I’ve ever had the pleasure of having -the best family I could ever ask for-, it’s time for me to move on with my life. I’m almost 23 years old, I think it’s time for me to move on and figure out who I am outside of the SPN Family. 

Seeing Jensen’s eyes begin to fill with tears broke my heart. I’ve never been able to stand seeing any of my boys crying, but most especially Jensen. 

“It’s not just about leaving the show is it?” Jensen swallowed loudly. 

I looked down at my lap. “You know that I can’t lie to you,” I responded softly. “Besides, you won’t have a use for me sooner or later; not with JJ turning one this year, and I’m sure you both eventually want to grow your family. I have no place in your life. I never really did, we shouldn’t lie to ourselves. Not to mention, I broke a rule -I fell in love with you when I knew I shouldn’t have. I need to get out before this destroys me.” 

A single man tear slips down his face. “I understand. You need to do what’s best for you. I hope you know how much I care for you, Katherine.” I tried not to flinch at his words. “I guess we both got carried away at times. You’re right, this should end before someone gets seriously hurt.” 

He looked to Danneel and it seemed like they were conversing silently. After a moment, she nodded her head. I couldn’t help the curiosity that began forming. Jensen kissed his wife then looked back at me. I watched as Jensen got up from his seat and walked over to me. He came to a stop in front of me and held his hand out for me to take.

“If you will allow it, I would like to have you one last time. I don’t want our goodbye to be tear-filled or depressing. I would hate for us to not be able to possibly remain friends -or at least be civil to each other- for the remainder of your time with us. I hope that you will let me make love to you one more time.” Welp, there further went my heart. It meant the world to me that he was asking if he could have me on more time versus just taking me. I didn’t think once I officially left the family that I could be friends with him. Maybe one day down the road once my heart was over him. He already had his permission from his wife, now he just needed mine. What could it honestly hurt to spend one more night in his arms?

I nodded and took his hand. He began leading me to our room. I stopped short just inside the door. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have sex in the same place he just had sex with his wife the night before. Jensen felt the resistance from my hand when he tried pulling me further into the bedroom.  
“Don’t worry Baby Girl, the sheets are getting washed and these are clean. I put your favorite flannel ones on.” I smiled softly at his thoughtfulness. 

I heard soft footsteps behind me. I looked back and saw that Danneel had followed us. She noticed that I had spotted her and blushed. “I hope you don’t mind if I watch. I have always had this secret fantasy of watching Jensen with another woman.”

I thought about it for a moment. I could feel Jensen’s eyes on me, watching for a negative reaction or what I might be thinking. I couldn’t lie, I wouldn’t mind if Danneel had decide to join in. I looked to the other woman in the room and smirked. “Only if it means you might join us eventually.” I hadn’t meant to voice that. I don’t know where this sudden boldness came from. Judging by the expressions on both the Ackles’ faces they were pleased with my response. I could even see the hunger strengthen in Jensen’s eyes. 

Jensen yanked me to him and immediately crashed our lips together. “Strip and get your beautiful ass on the bed.” 

I panted out a “yes sir” and did as I was told. As soon as I had gotten on the bed, Jensen had removed his clothes and pounced on me. His lips and hands were everywhere. It seemed like I couldn’t tell where I ended, and he began. Jensen took one of my nipples into his mouth and began suckling like a newborn babe. He knew how much I liked having my nipples sucked on. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped my legs around his waist. He caressed me knee to hip before he slapped my ass. I bucked my hips against his cock, causing us both to moan out loud.

It wasn’t much longer before I felt a finger begin playing with my clit. The touches were too soft to be Jensen; Danneel had decided to join us. She slipped a finger into my pussy and took some of my wetness to my clit to play with it more. “Fuck! Who knew that a threesome could be so hot and erotic?” I continued to buck my hips while Danneel played with my clit. She took a page out of Jensen’s book and took my other nipple into her mouth. Oh shit, it wouldn’t be much longer before I came.

Jensen popped his mouth off my nipple and left a trail of soft kisses down my body. He skipped over my already occupied clit and began to fuck me with his tongue. Not much longer after that did I cum. I almost passed out my orgasm was so intense. Danneel started to play with my clit again but I was painfully sensitive; I let out a whimper to get her to stop. 

I sat up and pulled Danneel closer to me so I could crash our lips together. Her lips were so soft and sweet. Surprisingly, Jensen’s lips were just a smidge softer. I could tell by her timidness that she either had little experience with women or she had none. Truthfully, I probably had enough experience for the both of us. I felt her up over her clothes and was rewarded with a whimper. I smiled internally in triumph. I mean come on, who wouldn’t be able to resist a woman as beautiful as Danneel Ackles; no matter how jealous they were of whom she was married to. Not the idjit, said I. 

I began peeling her clothes off her slowly, I didn’t want to frighten her by moving too fast. By the time I had her naked I was very excited to be the one to get her off. I looked over at Jensen to see if he had the typical male reaction to girl on girl. Yup, little shit was lost in his lust stroking his cock. I turned my attention back to the gorgeous woman beneath me. I was in utter awe at how beautiful she was. She’s a very hard person to hate, she is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. 

I started kissing at her jaw and making my way down to her chest. I took her left nipple into my mouth first and played with the right one so it wouldn’t feel left unattended. Once I was satisfied, I had spent enough time sucking and licking her nipple I switched to the other side. Satisfied once again, I made my way to her moist lower lips. I swiped my tongue to get a of her and I was not disappointed. I let out a moan at her sweet nectar. I could definitely feast on her delicious pussy all day. “Fuck, Danneel, this is the best pussy I have ever tasted.” My mouth was back on her before she could respond; well other than a loud moan from how hard I had sucked her clit into my mouth. 

I continued to feast on her until I heard Jensen’s impatient whine. Looks like someone wanted in on the action and was feeling left out. I lazily fucked her with my tongue. I could tell that she was getting frustrated from being kept on the edge of an orgasm. She locked her thighs on either side of my head and was trying to push my face closer to her heavenly center. I heard a muffled chuckle from Jensen.

“Move over Baby Girl, I need my wife to sink into before I lose it. This visual in front of me is almost too much. I don’t want to blow into my hand.” I moved so Jensen could make his way to his wife. I tamped down the jealousy that he chosen her to finish off inside of. Then again, it’s not like he could have finished inside of me anyway, being one of the “big rules” and all. 

I laid down next to Danneel and pulled her in for another kiss. Tasting and feeling her had revived my need for an orgasm. I began playing with myself. Jensen seeing me pushing my fingers in and out of my heat spurred him to thrust faster. Secretly, I was trying to stave off my orgasm so that I could possibly feel Jensen fill me up one more time. I mean, he did say he wanted to make love to me one more time. I wasn’t going to overthink those words in the moment, I would reserve them for a later date to examine. Besides, I was the one who invited his wife into the bedroom so technically this is all on me if he doesn’t fill me up again.

Jensen’s satisfied moan brought me out of my thoughts. Watching as Jensen pulled himself from Danneel, an idea struck me that I had wanted to try out. As Jensen laid on his back catching his breath, his eyes caught my movements. Danneel’s legs were still spread apart. I laid myself in front of her and licked my lips. Without another thought my tongue was trying to find what Jensen had left behind. I continued devouring her lower lips until I found my prize. By the time I cleaned Danneel of all of Jensen’s cum she was already on the edge of another orgasm. Who was I to deny this goddess another orgasm? I began to tongue fuck her faster and using my right hand to abuse her clit. Danneel was cumming in seconds. If her silent screams were anything to go by, I think someone might be seeing stars -not to toot my own horn.

Next thing I knew I was being pushed on to my back and Jensen was crashing our lips together, almost harshly. I felt something hard pressing into my thigh and was astounded that Jensen was already hard again. I wasn’t expecting him to ready to go again so soon.

I felt movement on the other side of me and saw that Danneel was getting a robe on. “You two have warn me out; I can’t take anymore. I will leave you to each other for the rest of the night. I’m gonna go stay in the guest room.” Before I could respond, Jensen was attacking my lips again. 

“That was the hottest damn thing I have ever seen.” Jensen growled out. “You must have read that in one of those erotic novels or fan fictions that you don’t think I notice you reading.” Jensen started biting at my neck -leaving me reminders of him for later. “I can already tell you I’m not going to last. I need to feel you now.” All I could do was nod.

I was still wet enough from playing with myself and when I had eaten Danneel out. Jensen slid right in with one thrust. He wasn’t wrong though, it only took him a couple of minutes to spill himself inside me. Feeling him cum inside me for the first time ever triggered an intense orgasm. Jensen held me and kissed me softly. I figured he would pull himself from my warmth once he had deflated but he didn’t. He stayed connected with me so intimately all the while kissing me softly and caressing my face. In the moment, I couldn’t help but feel hope that maybe a part of him loved me as much as I loved him.  
We spent the rest of the night and into the early morning staying connected. He came inside me three more times before we fell asleep in each other’s arms -neither of us remembering that condoms were supposed to be being used.

*3 months later*

This could not be happening. Nope. I refused to believe it. There was no way in hell that I was pregnant. I couldn’t be. I looked down at my phone to see if I was any closer to finding out. Another minute. It just wasn’t possible, I mean my only symptom is a lack of a period but that’s due to the amount of stress I have been under. Getting my scenes done, moving out of Jensen’s place into somewhere else temporarily. Getting things situated for when I go home. Trying not to think about the fact that I was leaving my family behind. I’ve been under some stress and it just isn’t helping my anxiety any. 

The timer finally went off and I braced myself for the outcome. I took a deep breath before I picked up the test. I was relieved and heartbroken to see that the test had come out negative. Lord knows I am nowhere near ready for motherhood; at the same time I was kind of hopeful to have a mini Jensen growing within me. 

I heard a strange noise and looked up to see what it was. It was me, I had made the noise. I hadn’t realized I had started crying. I gave myself a moment to cry before I pulled myself back together. I had to be on set soon, and I couldn’t have anyone seeing that I had been crying. No one knew that I had purchased a pregnancy test. No one could no, especially not Jensen. I couldn’t for fear that I would get pulled back in and I don’t think I could leave a second time. The test came out negative, so really, there was nothing that Jensen needed to know.

The rest of month flew by and before I knew it, I was shooting my last scene. As far as anyone knew I would be returning next season. Bob and the writers didn’t have the heart to kill Reid off, so she was leaving the Winchesters to search for herself outside of hunting. Oh the irony. It was heartwarming knowing that they had left it to where I would be able to come home if or whenever I decided to come back home. I hoped to come home one day, it would be grand. Today were were filming Reid’s goodbyes to the Winchesters and Cas. I could already tell that today was going to be hard. 

Jensen walked in with the script in his hand. He spotted me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. He was probably the only person who knew the truth. While our intimate relationship had come to an end, amazingly our friendship was still just as good as it always was. It was like nothing had ever changed -expect for the fact that I wasn’t sleeping or living with him anymore. I was going to miss him and Jared so much; I would miss everyone but these two were my boys and they all knew it.

“You ready for today?” I asked Jensen once he was close enough to me. 

“Honestly, no” He responded. “I know that we still have you for the rest of the week but today we are saying goodbye to both you and Reid. I don’t think I will ever be ready for that. Hell, I don’t think Dean would ever be ready for that and he has already lost a lot of people in his life.” I patted his shoulder in comfort.

“It’s gonna be hard for me, too. I really don’t want to leave but it’s time for me to move on with my life and explore what else the world has to offer me.” Jensen nodded his head in silent understanding. He knows that this is what is best for me. He hates it as much as I do but he knows that it was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Katherine, Trish needs in you in makeup now!” Called over one of the PA’s. I smiled at Jensen while softly caressing the side of his face. He turned his head into my palm and began nuzzling it. I let him do it for a moment before I pulled my hand away.

“See you out there Ackles.” I smiled once more and made my way to the makeup trailer.

*~*~*~*

This was it. The day was finally here. My head was telling me that I didn’t have to leave, that I could go back inside and talk to Bob about coming back. That I could stay here with Jared and with Jensen, that everything would be okay. I knew it my heart that leaving was the best thing for me to do. The first thing planned once I had gotten settled was to make an appointment with my doctor. My period was still late. I didn’t know what was going with it but I knew that something wasn’t right.

I headed out to the door with the last of my things and there stood my boys. I couldn’t help but be teary eyed at the sight. It wouldn’t feel right leaving without saying goodbye to my boys. I would never forgive myself. 

“I hope you weren’t expecting to leave without saying goodbye, now were you?” Jared asked me.

I feigned innocence. “Moi, skip town without saying telling my boys? I should hope y’all know me better than that!” I put my hand on my chest to convince them further of my innocence. It didn’t take but a moment for all of us to burst out with laughter. I was going to miss these two so much; I don’t know how I’m going to deal with not seeing them everyday.

“Come here squirt,” Jared held his arms out to me and I ran into them. I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. I promised myself I wasn’t going to get emotional saying goodbye. Welp, there went that plan. I hugged my favorite Moose tighter to me and he hugged me just as hard. “It’s not gonna be the same without you. I wish you the best of luck with this new chapter in your life.” He kissed the crown of my head. “Jensen told me. I hate that you feel you need to leave us but know that we’ll always have your back; we’ll always be family. I love you squirt.”

I buried my face in chest for a moment. I wanted to try and always remember how his hugs felt. His hugs are my favorite in the entire world. I didn’t know how long it would be until my next hug, so I wanted to make this last for as long as possible. “Thank you for everything, Moose. You’re the big brother I always wanted growing up and I’m so happy to have you in my life. I never want to lose you. I love you, you giant Moose.” We both laughed and I felt him rest his head against mine, well to the best of his ability since I was over a foot shorter than him. He squeezed me tight for a second before I heard him let out a sniffle. “Don’t let me hear your tears Padalecki, my tears are hard enough to deal with!”

We pulled apart just enough for us to be face to face. I watched as a tear rolled down his face. “I tried, but it didn’t work out too well. I’m just gonna miss you. You’re my baby sister by choice and I hate to see you leave.” I wiped his tear away. “Just promise me that this goodbye is only temporary, that it won’t be forever. I can’t lose you either, you have come to mean too much to me and everyone else.”

I held out my pinky. This was our way of securing promises and following through. Pinky Promises are no joke to us, we take them very seriously. Something that’s just between me and my boys. Jared grabbed my pinky with his and the promise was sealed. He kissed my forehead and let me go. I missed my sunshine already. 

I turned to the shorter giant next to him. This goodbye is going to be just as hard if not harder. Seeing the tears in his eyes had mine cascading down my cheeks already. Jensen just pulled me into him and placed his head on mine. We didn’t need words; we never did in moments like this. He’s my rock and I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. 

“I love you, my Khaleesi,” Jensen spoke into my hair. I squeezed my eyes shut tight allowing more tears to fall. I had always wanted to hear those words from him, I just never imagined he would mean them the way I had longed for the day I said goodbye -at least this is what I am allowing myself to believe for the moment. The fact that he called me his Khalessi was shocking; I’m not his wife. I always thought he watched Game of Thrones with Danneel too, apparently that was something only we did. I can’t lie and say that doesn’t make my heart sing. I guess he loved me more than I ever thought he could.

“I love you too, my Kahl.” I squeezed him tighter to me. Like with Jared, I just wanted this hug to last as long as it possibly can.

All too soon Jensen began pulling away from me. He lifted my face to meet his and he kissed me. Sure, Jared knew of what went on behind closed doors, but we had never done anything in front of him or anyone else. I was shocked at Jensen’s boldness. I could feel his hunger and love in his kiss. I made sure that he knew how much I loved him with my kiss. Just as soon as the kiss started, I pulled away. Such a short kiss and yet I was breathless as if we had been making out like teenagers. 

I went to put the last of my things into my Honda Element, but Jared had already done that for me. I didn’t want to drag this out anymore. I blew them both a kiss, told them I loved them one more time and off I went. Time will tell if I will be able to see my boys again.


End file.
